Empathy and Conflict Resolution

If you have been around the block a time or two, you’ve undoubtedly experienced conflict in your relationships. Whether it’s in a personal relationship with your significant other, or a professional one with a co-worker or boss, conflict will raise its ugly head from time to time. How do we successfully deal with conflict and move back to the harmony we all desire? One key aspect to handling conflict is to approach it in a spirit of empathy. By definition, empathy is the identification with and understanding of another’s situation, feelings, and motives. It doesn’t mean you agree their point of view; just that you are willing to walk in their shows for a moment in time. When you approach conflict with a spirit of empathy several things will occur that will empower you to move toward a resolution.

The first thing that occurs when practicing empathy is you see things from a different point of view. When you refuse to operate in defense mode, you objectively see things from the other person’s perspective. Again, you don’t necessarily have to agree with perspective, but with an objective and open mind, you can see other solutions to the conflict at hand.

The second thing that happens when operating with empathy is it allows you to understand the other person’s feelings. During conflict, emotions can run hot and it may be difficult to manage your own feelings. With an empathetic spirit, you are better able to keep your feelings in check, and in turn, identify and understand the other person’s feelings. The understanding of the other person’s feelings helps to create an emotionally safe environment and can help both of you see the big picture.

A third benefit in practicing empathy is helps you to understand the other person’s motivations. In the heat of conflict our ability to think clearly is diminished and we can make assumptions about the other person’s motivation. We mistakenly assume their motivation is self-serving and not in our best interest. Although you might disagree with the other person’s motivation, it does not mean they are trying to harm you. The empathetic spirit allows you to step outside your own assumptions and see the picture more clearly.

Still a fourth benefit to practicing empathy is it keeps the conflict at hand from creating irreversible damage. Without empathy, the smallest disagreement has the possibility to escalate into a full scale blow out. Full scale arguments can lead to hurtful words being said and regretful actions taken. By being intentionally empathetic, and objectively mindful of the other person, the anger levels will remain manageable. Empathy simply removes the fuel needed for the explosion to occur.

A final benefit to practicing empathy is becomes second nature to your personality. This practice will help reduce the number and frequency of conflicting events. While conflict in life, either in personal relationships or professional ones is inevitable, practicing empathy toward one another could help you to avoid unnecessary arguments in the future. When you do have conflicts or disagreements, you’ll be less likely to let them escalate into world war three.